Quicky

My best friends came over to my place yesterday night for a few drinks and guitar jamming session. It was fucking ace, one of the best moments of this year I gotta say. No crazy sex story though.

 So there's this new guy in the office, who sits diagonal to me. He's a blonde hunk - late 30s - looks like a cross between bruce willis and daniel craig. Yes, smoking hot.  I've managed to position my monitors + laptop such that I can discreetly stare at him and get no work done. And he's really cute - the way he curses his emails at work, his little discussions with fellow chinese colleagues etc. etc.

The other day I came across his facebook page, and I looked at a few of his photos. And my suspicions are growing. One of his pictures was him wearing a pair of black wings and horns. Pretty gay. Then another one was of him in a club with lots of men. Pretty gay. And then there was a shirtless picture of him in the pool. I jizzed in my pants. And I don't think he has a wife or a girlfriend. Pretty gay.

Me being bored at work, started imagining what a relationship with him would be like. I imagined him  on returning back home, him ripping his shirt off, rock hard beneath his suit trousers, and pinning me on the wall. I'd ask him if he wanted me to reheat dinner or not while he was sucking me off, and he'd slap me and tell me to shut the fuck up. He'd turn me around take his trousers off and reaveal a glistening cock, sliding it against my ass, hands over my mouth while I try to resist. He'd feel me up all over, pull my hair really roughly and throw me around the room - but I am powerless compared to him.  So I

Anyway, I don't want to reveal to you any more of my deepest, most secret fantasies so I'll stop there.

After sex he'd cuddle me, eat my food, complain about work, have a whisky and fall asleep together.

That's it.

I’ve been MIA for good reason.

So I can’t remember when I last updated, but that’s not worth remembering. What is worth talking about here is my life. Presumably that’s what we’re here for. So things that have been going on in my life:

1.     So there had been this guy that I had been talking to for a while on whatsapp. He sounded quite sane, pretty cool, chill guy, not really responsive to me asking him out for drinks. I got fed up after the third time and decided to cut my losses, and give up asking him out. And you know that saying “what you want, is what you can’t get”? It’s so true.

So I ended up meeting this guy on Saturday night – I bailed on my mates to see this guy something anyone will see me rarely do. Long story short, we had a couple of drinks, and then he made out with me on the streets. Like, something I’m not really comfortable doing on the streets. Anyway, so he takes me to his place, around the corner and we make out some more. He takes me to his bed, and I whisper to him, “I like being forced to do shit”. And he strips down to his pants and literally, forces my head in his crotch. It was so fucking hot. Really good kisser too. But me being a tease, I tell him that he wouldn’t be getting into my pants because I need to continue my night (or I would have passed out after hanky panky).

So this guy, who I will call Krunky is quite a cute guy. He’s 4 years older than me, taller than me and works in I.T. Perfect for me. And he’s also English, studied Engineering, and really into his drinking. Actually, that sounds exactly like me.  But I have reservations about taking this into a relationship, simply because I’m not sure how well my friends will take him. But time will tell. He wants me to go to his place on Thursday night to hang – But I gotta think about it, decide where I want this to lead to and not feel like a little slut.

2.     So on the same Saturday, one of my mates friend organized a boat party. And I got to meet some pretty legit dudes and chicks. I think I might start hanging out with this gang to see what kind of friendships I can develop out of this. But back to the boat party – damn fun. Luckily it was a sunny day (after the typhoon) and the water wasn’t too cold – in fact, refreshing like a cold shower. Got my back plenty burnt and tanned. Got another boat trip next week, so well looking forward to that.

3.     (I just realized how eventful Saturday was) – After my makeout session with krunky I go to see my mates in Wanchai. And what happens there? Well, I forgotten half of the night, but I remember dancing on the bar shirtless, for a free pint. Then the bar maid inappropriately gave me another free pint for being such a sport I was.

And I forgot the rest of the night, except the fact that I had this friend badgering me to find out where I went for 3 hours. And I couldn’t take it and came out to him. I didn’t feel really comfortable with it, I mean, he did say some obnoxious shit about gays one time when I was around him and Connor. But the whole time after that he was like “It’s cool man, I don’t give a fuck – don’t worry about it.” So I guess that’s one more person on my list. I wonder if he could remember it though, we were all pretty fucking smashed.

All in all, great weekend. That’s it folks.  

And I know I'm supposed to have out grown Hollister Co., but I've recently been really digging their playlists.  Check it out guys...

Playlist HCO

Summer gone mad

Hey dudes

Sorry for lack of updates, been a busy kid running around hong kong like a mad cow recently. And now that I'm back to normal hours, I have hardly anytime to do anything that I want/need to do like
a. play beach vball
b. go to gym
c. go trail running
d. go to work
e. get trashed
f. junk trips out to sea
(g. seeing a boy?)
(h. hoping this fucking typhoon doesn't spoil my weekend plans)

but I will update soon, maybe on Sunday when I go back to my mummy's for dinner.

till then...

Gold dust

The other day my mum showed me a picture of my dad when he was a kiddo.

And damn, my uncles were handsome men.

I'm refering to the two gentlemen on the left.

Disappointment

So I have this good school friend, Flint, that got married 9 months ago. He was 24, she was 28. He was basically forced into this marriage because she didn’t have the means to be in the same country as him – details, I’ll leave aside. As result, a whole gang of us was trying to persuade him not to get married. He was young, studying, barely earning enough to get by life, and clueless about love. We didn’t understand at all. He’s an “ivy-league smart” guy.

They got married anyway, in a basement of a church somewhere in London and had a woman of 60 years old, who knew them for a year or so, make an honorary speech for them. Now it would have been OK if the speech was amusing and revealing. But it wasn’t. It was about a traffic jam.

I am in no way, envious about their relationship.

So the wine was spilt last weekend when I was out with Sara:

1. Flint, was a troubled little homosexual who got married – Ok, fine.
2. It also turns out that he is actively sleeping with other men – What?
3. It also turns out that he doesn’t use protection because he doesn’t feel other men will pursue him – Bullshit. 

And since then, I’ve been very disappointed in him. This is exactly the shit that gays don’t need – and to find out one of my good friends is sleeping around like a tramp like that, it sets me on fire. I don’t get it. I can never look at him in the same way now.

I have one fucked up friend.

Never again...

Sometimes I wish I had my blackberry. It would make typing this all that much easier on the bus when I have 1 hour to burn (each way to work).

Guys. I get it. I can understand why anonymous blogging is so fun. Anyway. I got shit loads on my mind this week so long post or two this week.

I got in the car yesterday, and the first thing my mum says to me is
"you have a car fine". I reply:
"what?! I know I went into a bus restricted zone but it was really confusing! ... Where was it?! How come it got to you so quickly?!"
"<street around where I live>" (not where I was thinking of)
"what are you kidding?  That means I got a speeding ticket? I might have been 30% over limit but people were being stupid and I didn't mean to run over the bird. It was dead already."
Mother replies: "what? You're confusing me. It's a parking ticket"
And I think: "oh that's a fucking relief.  That means I still have a clean license"

And fml I was literally five mins out of two hours late picking my car up and got a parking ticket. I would have been able to avoid it if I hadn't spent time dicking about on my computer.

If you haven't figured out already, I go out pretty much every Friday night, get drunk, trash talk, meet a load of people i'll never see again, blow a shit load of money and end the night with a "dnm" with N when the sun rises on Sunday and suffer from a major hangover the following afternoon. And it's been like this for the last year. This has got to stop soon- or so I tell myself, futilely.

Last Sunday morning I had this 10K race to go to. This race with  around 700 testosterone filled men, and me - hung over, incapable of walking straight, reeking of alcohol. 700 men gathered at the start point, the size of a basketball court, sweltering in 35C & 90% humidity, brewing some seriously vicious smells, K and I, smack bang in the middle of it.

I came out of this race, battered, demoralised and disappointed with my results. So I binge eat and blow cash on 1200-thread-count bed sheets.

And so I've decided never again.... will I sign up for a summer race.

Oh and I'm going to rename my friends and give a synopsis on each of them in the future.
S - Sara
N - Nate
G - Jane
C - Carol
K - Connor

And I will write about Saturday night in the next few days - and then possibly my thoughts on being gay as a result.

I've never had a girl friend and I've never kissed a girl.

So I'm at my parents place tonight having dinner. It's nice to do that once in a while, especially when you have to wake up at 5am to go to work in the mornings (and it also gives me a bit of time to blog). Anyway, during dinner, I told my mother that I wanted to move closer to work (as opposed to living 1hr away from work). She snapped and said "No, it's too far from your home, now eat your dinner". Oh Chinese parents... 

Now, I might be a homosexual, but there have been many times, when I've been tempted (and curious) to go out with a chick. And today, I figured it out - it comes down to three main reasons:

1.  I don't want to have to lie about non-existent girl friends when my family & friends (that I will not come out to anytime soon) ask.

2. I actually think it'd be fun to go out with a chick, minus the (mandatory?) sex.

3. She'd be really hot and popular so I'd be able to use her as a social vehicle and expand my friendship circle.

Yes, I want a girlfriend, minus the sex. And you know I'd be the perfect boyfriend, minus the homosexuality. I'm smart, cute, athletic, popular, good cook, great kisser, and most of all, an amazing spoon in bed. Awesome in general (except for the "I'm very much in love with cock and ass" part).

But the problem is, I would never be able to bring myself do this, knowing that eventually I'd have to break up and disappoint someone that I loved and a friendship. In fact, I'm scared shitless about breaking up a friendship and I would never lead someone on just so that I could break up a relationship, and that's why I haven't been out with a chick yet. I'd end up feeling like a massive (guilt-ridden) douche.

The reason I've been thinking about this so much, ironically, despite all the above, is because there's this girl at work who works in a different team to me, who's blatantly into me- and I really enjoy her company. We flirt over im (at work) all the time, and we have almost everything in common to discuss about. She's smart, very respectable, cute, popular and drama-free. 

And the problem is, I feel as long as I haven't declared my love (or lust) to her, our friendship will eventually fade away when she finds a more awesome kid to be with. And as selfish as this sounds, although I want her to be happy, I don't want it to happen .

Simply put it, I don't know what I want. At times, I feel like I'm subconsciously trying to conform to societal norms, but is my urge to date a chick a result of this? Or is it a genuine feeling? I can't figure it out. I'm hoping someone feels the same out there.