Everything must start somewhere

Right this is driving me insane.

I need someone to cuddle up to right now, I’ve been infinitely horny these past few days, I’ve been spending too much time on porn and thinking about fucking all the hot blonde boys around my office. My nuts are blue – someone please help. I live in Hong Kong. Not much blonde fish out there.

I’m a city boy, but I love spending my days out on the hills, running up and down, exploring and trekking. Best part of Hong Kong is that, ironically, your closest hiking trail into the wilderness is most likely less than 30 mins walk away. People speak of Hong Kong as a concrete jungle, I am guilty of that too. But look deeper and you’ll realize, there’s a lot more than glass sky scrapers and grey apartment blocks- and it’s beautiful.

This is a story about my life (on-going, and past), about all the stupid, genius, spontaneous, ridiculous etc. decisions that I’ve made in my life. If I weren’t gay and had a stronger mind, I think I would have made so many bad decisions. That’s not to say I have it bad in my life. I’ve lived my life on four continents, made really good friends, have my own apartment, a respectable job (not career), and no Asian flush -All that at an age of 23. And I’m not complaining, plenty of chicks dig me- what a perfect facade to hide behind.

Blogging is so 00’s. I know that. But I’m going to write this out anyway. I don’t want other people making the same mistakes I did. It might not have ruined me, but it’s put me in a place where I don’t want to be, where I don’t think I enjoy life as much as I could have. We all might have different ambitions in life, we might have different needs, I’m just hoping one of you kids out there will take something from the series of life stories I have to publish. Like many of the bloggers out there, I want to look back in one year’s time to see how much I’ve changed – myself and others.

For now, I am going to rant. It’s been bothering me since I moved back to Hong Kong for work.

If you’ve ever lived here for a reasonable amount of time, you’ll quickly pick up on the following about the majority of hong kong people:

1. It’s become part of the culture to wedge through life. Wedge between you and the escalators, wedge between lines, wedge through closing doors. You name it. They wedge pretty damn well. To be fair, this only applies to first/second generation hong kong citizens (and the very many Chinese tourists
2. They are obsessed with getting the “best crab”. Yes, that’s a reference to Amy Tan’s Joy Luck Club chapter. If you’ve read it, studied it, analyzed it, you’ll know what I’m talking about. People can literally spend 1 hour, picking through all the pre-packaged vegetables to find the pack with the greenest shoots and least soil. They will rearrange the supermarket alley to find the can with the most distant expiry date. They will do this with no shame.
3. They all have funky names. Funky as in, terribly, agonizingly stupid names. Fishy, Money, Noggard, Hageman, Echo, Purple, Icy. And they will not know the difference between a common name, and a made up name. Take for example, something like “Anson” could be mistaken for “Handsome” easily, and quite seriously. If your name is Apple, then my name is Pear. No fucking kidding.   
4.  Most Chinese people will not have picked a book up, read a decent newspaper about real news, or read a magazine that’s not b-list celebs related. This is why, in my opinion, they are so boring. 
5. They are very gullible. Tell them salt will help prevent radiation poisoning from Japan, and they will go all out on salt. 10kgs of salt was what this lady had. She’ll die from eating 10kg’s of salt in 1 month. Seriously:

I could go on forever. But I shouldn’t. There are a lot of decent Hong Kong people out there. Anyway, stay tuned boys and girls.