Theives

Last Wednesday, I was really in the mood to go clubbing. So I went up to S to plan our Saturday night. Come Saturday, and we’re out and bar hopping, going to pretty fly clubs. Between the three of us, there were three birthdays each of us wanted to go to, so plenty of people to see. Met a few pretty cool dudes, would have been nice to been able to talk to them, but never mind that. They were probably straight anyway.

So in the middle of the night, we decide to go to my friend’s birthday at a club. S and I go up for about an hour, dancing like twats, spending money on drinks like there’s no tomorrow etc. Finally, S and I decide to go back to another bar, so she heads to the toilet. She comes back out, take the lift down and she realizes, her phone’s been pick pocketed.

Who the fuck goes into a club to steal iPhones? There was a time when I though people that lived in Hong Kong were honest people. Apparently not. I’m quite disappointed.

I should really go sleep now. I’ll spill a bit more about D next time.

Not interested

A week ago…

I was the type of genuine guy that would go on dates with anyone. I was the type to do so because I never realized what a relationship was all about. I’ve been out on dates with really boring guys, camp guys, not really fit guys etc.. You get my drift. Basically, my bar was fucking low.

So last week, I was on craigslist looking for some action, and I decided to message this guy. No pictures, only a few words. I don’t know why I did it – was probably my penis making me do it. So I meet up with this guy – bucking chap with a city job, intelligent and apparently “straight”. I didn’t buy that. Anyway, he was skinny, sort of like my ex, but taller and blonder. I wasn’t physically attracted to him at all. But he had a really nice personality and we got along pretty well talking about random shit and work. Apparently I was the first guy he kissed, despite him having sucked cock before. I don’t believe it. Anyway, time flew. We had a chat for ages, we might have made out, and then I decided that I needed to jet and see my friends for someone’s birthday.

So a few days later, he texts me. I don’t quote, because my phone is not next to me, but it goes something like this “I really like you, you’re smart, decent, funny and a nice guy. It’s not ever that I dish out compliments like that”. When I read it, I was in the living room with my roommate, and I didn’t know what to make of it. On one hand, I wanted a cuddle buddy. On the other, I felt it would have just ended up like my previous relationship. No, this time, I’m not going fall for anyone until my heart is convinced. I don’t reply.

He texts me the same night saying “You’re not interested?” So I’m not, but I reply with a “LOL, let’s take it easy.”

Was I being too kind? He calls me the next day asking if I wanted to go for dinner. Yeah I did. I wanted to get to know this guy a bit more – he’s a nice guy, and probably a really good friend. But I felt he wanted a relationship, which I was not prepared for. So I stupidly said yes, Friday.

Today…

Come Thursday, he asks if we could have dinner tonight rather than Friday. I’m not the one to say no because I have no plans – and I told him when I saw him (and I secretly wanted the dinner over and done with). I wanted to use the dinner to gauge how much he was into me, to decide how I was going to go about this friendship. That was probably just an excuse though. Secretly my dick was telling me to go too. I’ve been dry for a few months now.

BUT, I decide last minute to blow him off. I’ve never done anything like this to anyone before, not even my friends. I guess I just wasn’t bothered. I have this gut feeling that if I talk to him being a nice guy, he’ll fall for me and I’ll have drama to deal with. I guess I know what I want now. And I'm not interested.

I. So what’s the story behind me?

It’s a long story, that had quite a cute/sweet/cuddly beginning to it. And then it ended in shambles. Regrets on my side. Like on a drunk night out, and you take a piss in a bin while someone films you. Not that the relationship I had was some kind of piss take, but had the choices I made come back to me, I would have definitely made different ones.

I just kills me how I was so naive to believe so many things he said (not to mention a few of my friends, not that I blame them) and then, try to translate to things that I felt like I needed and wanted from a relationship. I had some beautiful times with him. I don’t regret those, even up to the moment I thought I was going to leave him for good. But there have been many times where I thought I was stuck in a relationship, just for the sake of feeling important in someone else’s life. And I tell you, for all that it’s worth, when it’s a one sided thing, there’s too much to be sacrificed. The least I can say is that I’ve had the experience, and you know, if you’ve never been sad, how do you know if you’ve been truly happy, ya know?

Saturday 1^st November 2008

It started when I was working in the Home Counties in the UK. As much as I hate to admit, some random blonde boy messaged me one night off of a dating site. Yes, I’m ashamed of it. But I lived in the Home Counties- where else was I going to get some action?

He was blonde, and tall and around my age, so naturally I agreed to meet up the following afternoon for a pint. He turned out to be a legit guy I thought I could hang out with. We had the same sense of humour, same banter, and above all, we were both in the closet and interested with each other. We both thought at that time it would have been a FWB kind of thing, nothing deep, nothing special. We drank, we got drunk, we had dinner at Covent Garden, and he took me to the train station where we said our goodbyes. As we walked there, we snuck around an alley way, and made out. Properly. We were both hard, in some ex-counsel estate. We were scared, but at the same time, it was exciting and really hot. I remember that night so clearly. It wasn’t until 330am until I caught the train back home. “Nice of him” I thought, “but if anything was going to happen, it would have happened already.”

Now how wrong was I to assume that.

Sunday 2^nd November 2008

No, he called me the next day and asked me to go chill with him. I suggested we go to a burrito bar at Angel – So we went there had our dinner, then headed to a sports bar. Not to watch sports, I hated watching sports (and still do). But to drink cheap booze…

By the end of the night we were literally feeling each other’s hands and legs beneath the table. I think back now and it was so damn cute. We were like raindrops and lived like we sang through the streets we fell on. It was getting late that night, and I told him that I needed to go back home. But I’m a weakling and easily persuaded with another drink. So I stayed and long story short, I somehow floated to his place. I told him nothing was going to happen. I was going to sleep on the couch and I’d get up early in the morning to take the first train back home to get to work. Obviously that did happen. We just made out the whole night, rolling around in bed, trying to relieve ourselves of our blue balls….

Next morning, I pulled a sickie. First time ever, but fuck that, I was completely infatuated with this guy. I wanted to know what he wanted. What I wanted. What everything was going to lead to….

Everything must start somewhere

Right this is driving me insane.

I need someone to cuddle up to right now, I’ve been infinitely horny these past few days, I’ve been spending too much time on porn and thinking about fucking all the hot blonde boys around my office. My nuts are blue – someone please help. I live in Hong Kong. Not much blonde fish out there.

I’m a city boy, but I love spending my days out on the hills, running up and down, exploring and trekking. Best part of Hong Kong is that, ironically, your closest hiking trail into the wilderness is most likely less than 30 mins walk away. People speak of Hong Kong as a concrete jungle, I am guilty of that too. But look deeper and you’ll realize, there’s a lot more than glass sky scrapers and grey apartment blocks- and it’s beautiful.

This is a story about my life (on-going, and past), about all the stupid, genius, spontaneous, ridiculous etc. decisions that I’ve made in my life. If I weren’t gay and had a stronger mind, I think I would have made so many bad decisions. That’s not to say I have it bad in my life. I’ve lived my life on four continents, made really good friends, have my own apartment, a respectable job (not career), and no Asian flush -All that at an age of 23. And I’m not complaining, plenty of chicks dig me- what a perfect facade to hide behind.

Blogging is so 00’s. I know that. But I’m going to write this out anyway. I don’t want other people making the same mistakes I did. It might not have ruined me, but it’s put me in a place where I don’t want to be, where I don’t think I enjoy life as much as I could have. We all might have different ambitions in life, we might have different needs, I’m just hoping one of you kids out there will take something from the series of life stories I have to publish. Like many of the bloggers out there, I want to look back in one year’s time to see how much I’ve changed – myself and others.

For now, I am going to rant. It’s been bothering me since I moved back to Hong Kong for work.

If you’ve ever lived here for a reasonable amount of time, you’ll quickly pick up on the following about the majority of hong kong people:

1. It’s become part of the culture to wedge through life. Wedge between you and the escalators, wedge between lines, wedge through closing doors. You name it. They wedge pretty damn well. To be fair, this only applies to first/second generation hong kong citizens (and the very many Chinese tourists
2. They are obsessed with getting the “best crab”. Yes, that’s a reference to Amy Tan’s Joy Luck Club chapter. If you’ve read it, studied it, analyzed it, you’ll know what I’m talking about. People can literally spend 1 hour, picking through all the pre-packaged vegetables to find the pack with the greenest shoots and least soil. They will rearrange the supermarket alley to find the can with the most distant expiry date. They will do this with no shame.
3. They all have funky names. Funky as in, terribly, agonizingly stupid names. Fishy, Money, Noggard, Hageman, Echo, Purple, Icy. And they will not know the difference between a common name, and a made up name. Take for example, something like “Anson” could be mistaken for “Handsome” easily, and quite seriously. If your name is Apple, then my name is Pear. No fucking kidding.   
4.  Most Chinese people will not have picked a book up, read a decent newspaper about real news, or read a magazine that’s not b-list celebs related. This is why, in my opinion, they are so boring. 
5. They are very gullible. Tell them salt will help prevent radiation poisoning from Japan, and they will go all out on salt. 10kgs of salt was what this lady had. She’ll die from eating 10kg’s of salt in 1 month. Seriously:

I could go on forever. But I shouldn’t. There are a lot of decent Hong Kong people out there. Anyway, stay tuned boys and girls.