Quicky

My best friends came over to my place yesterday night for a few drinks and guitar jamming session. It was fucking ace, one of the best moments of this year I gotta say. No crazy sex story though.

 So there's this new guy in the office, who sits diagonal to me. He's a blonde hunk - late 30s - looks like a cross between bruce willis and daniel craig. Yes, smoking hot.  I've managed to position my monitors + laptop such that I can discreetly stare at him and get no work done. And he's really cute - the way he curses his emails at work, his little discussions with fellow chinese colleagues etc. etc.

The other day I came across his facebook page, and I looked at a few of his photos. And my suspicions are growing. One of his pictures was him wearing a pair of black wings and horns. Pretty gay. Then another one was of him in a club with lots of men. Pretty gay. And then there was a shirtless picture of him in the pool. I jizzed in my pants. And I don't think he has a wife or a girlfriend. Pretty gay.

Me being bored at work, started imagining what a relationship with him would be like. I imagined him  on returning back home, him ripping his shirt off, rock hard beneath his suit trousers, and pinning me on the wall. I'd ask him if he wanted me to reheat dinner or not while he was sucking me off, and he'd slap me and tell me to shut the fuck up. He'd turn me around take his trousers off and reaveal a glistening cock, sliding it against my ass, hands over my mouth while I try to resist. He'd feel me up all over, pull my hair really roughly and throw me around the room - but I am powerless compared to him.  So I

Anyway, I don't want to reveal to you any more of my deepest, most secret fantasies so I'll stop there.

After sex he'd cuddle me, eat my food, complain about work, have a whisky and fall asleep together.

That's it.

I’ve been MIA for good reason.

So I can’t remember when I last updated, but that’s not worth remembering. What is worth talking about here is my life. Presumably that’s what we’re here for. So things that have been going on in my life:

1.     So there had been this guy that I had been talking to for a while on whatsapp. He sounded quite sane, pretty cool, chill guy, not really responsive to me asking him out for drinks. I got fed up after the third time and decided to cut my losses, and give up asking him out. And you know that saying “what you want, is what you can’t get”? It’s so true.

So I ended up meeting this guy on Saturday night – I bailed on my mates to see this guy something anyone will see me rarely do. Long story short, we had a couple of drinks, and then he made out with me on the streets. Like, something I’m not really comfortable doing on the streets. Anyway, so he takes me to his place, around the corner and we make out some more. He takes me to his bed, and I whisper to him, “I like being forced to do shit”. And he strips down to his pants and literally, forces my head in his crotch. It was so fucking hot. Really good kisser too. But me being a tease, I tell him that he wouldn’t be getting into my pants because I need to continue my night (or I would have passed out after hanky panky).

So this guy, who I will call Krunky is quite a cute guy. He’s 4 years older than me, taller than me and works in I.T. Perfect for me. And he’s also English, studied Engineering, and really into his drinking. Actually, that sounds exactly like me.  But I have reservations about taking this into a relationship, simply because I’m not sure how well my friends will take him. But time will tell. He wants me to go to his place on Thursday night to hang – But I gotta think about it, decide where I want this to lead to and not feel like a little slut.

2.     So on the same Saturday, one of my mates friend organized a boat party. And I got to meet some pretty legit dudes and chicks. I think I might start hanging out with this gang to see what kind of friendships I can develop out of this. But back to the boat party – damn fun. Luckily it was a sunny day (after the typhoon) and the water wasn’t too cold – in fact, refreshing like a cold shower. Got my back plenty burnt and tanned. Got another boat trip next week, so well looking forward to that.

3.     (I just realized how eventful Saturday was) – After my makeout session with krunky I go to see my mates in Wanchai. And what happens there? Well, I forgotten half of the night, but I remember dancing on the bar shirtless, for a free pint. Then the bar maid inappropriately gave me another free pint for being such a sport I was.

And I forgot the rest of the night, except the fact that I had this friend badgering me to find out where I went for 3 hours. And I couldn’t take it and came out to him. I didn’t feel really comfortable with it, I mean, he did say some obnoxious shit about gays one time when I was around him and Connor. But the whole time after that he was like “It’s cool man, I don’t give a fuck – don’t worry about it.” So I guess that’s one more person on my list. I wonder if he could remember it though, we were all pretty fucking smashed.

All in all, great weekend. That’s it folks.  

And I know I'm supposed to have out grown Hollister Co., but I've recently been really digging their playlists.  Check it out guys...

Playlist HCO

Summer gone mad

Hey dudes

Sorry for lack of updates, been a busy kid running around hong kong like a mad cow recently. And now that I'm back to normal hours, I have hardly anytime to do anything that I want/need to do like
a. play beach vball
b. go to gym
c. go trail running
d. go to work
e. get trashed
f. junk trips out to sea
(g. seeing a boy?)
(h. hoping this fucking typhoon doesn't spoil my weekend plans)

but I will update soon, maybe on Sunday when I go back to my mummy's for dinner.

till then...

Gold dust

The other day my mum showed me a picture of my dad when he was a kiddo.

And damn, my uncles were handsome men.

I'm refering to the two gentlemen on the left.

Disappointment

So I have this good school friend, Flint, that got married 9 months ago. He was 24, she was 28. He was basically forced into this marriage because she didn’t have the means to be in the same country as him – details, I’ll leave aside. As result, a whole gang of us was trying to persuade him not to get married. He was young, studying, barely earning enough to get by life, and clueless about love. We didn’t understand at all. He’s an “ivy-league smart” guy.

They got married anyway, in a basement of a church somewhere in London and had a woman of 60 years old, who knew them for a year or so, make an honorary speech for them. Now it would have been OK if the speech was amusing and revealing. But it wasn’t. It was about a traffic jam.

I am in no way, envious about their relationship.

So the wine was spilt last weekend when I was out with Sara:

1. Flint, was a troubled little homosexual who got married – Ok, fine.
2. It also turns out that he is actively sleeping with other men – What?
3. It also turns out that he doesn’t use protection because he doesn’t feel other men will pursue him – Bullshit. 

And since then, I’ve been very disappointed in him. This is exactly the shit that gays don’t need – and to find out one of my good friends is sleeping around like a tramp like that, it sets me on fire. I don’t get it. I can never look at him in the same way now.

I have one fucked up friend.

Never again...

Sometimes I wish I had my blackberry. It would make typing this all that much easier on the bus when I have 1 hour to burn (each way to work).

Guys. I get it. I can understand why anonymous blogging is so fun. Anyway. I got shit loads on my mind this week so long post or two this week.

I got in the car yesterday, and the first thing my mum says to me is
"you have a car fine". I reply:
"what?! I know I went into a bus restricted zone but it was really confusing! ... Where was it?! How come it got to you so quickly?!"
"<street around where I live>" (not where I was thinking of)
"what are you kidding?  That means I got a speeding ticket? I might have been 30% over limit but people were being stupid and I didn't mean to run over the bird. It was dead already."
Mother replies: "what? You're confusing me. It's a parking ticket"
And I think: "oh that's a fucking relief.  That means I still have a clean license"

And fml I was literally five mins out of two hours late picking my car up and got a parking ticket. I would have been able to avoid it if I hadn't spent time dicking about on my computer.

If you haven't figured out already, I go out pretty much every Friday night, get drunk, trash talk, meet a load of people i'll never see again, blow a shit load of money and end the night with a "dnm" with N when the sun rises on Sunday and suffer from a major hangover the following afternoon. And it's been like this for the last year. This has got to stop soon- or so I tell myself, futilely.

Last Sunday morning I had this 10K race to go to. This race with  around 700 testosterone filled men, and me - hung over, incapable of walking straight, reeking of alcohol. 700 men gathered at the start point, the size of a basketball court, sweltering in 35C & 90% humidity, brewing some seriously vicious smells, K and I, smack bang in the middle of it.

I came out of this race, battered, demoralised and disappointed with my results. So I binge eat and blow cash on 1200-thread-count bed sheets.

And so I've decided never again.... will I sign up for a summer race.

Oh and I'm going to rename my friends and give a synopsis on each of them in the future.
S - Sara
N - Nate
G - Jane
C - Carol
K - Connor

And I will write about Saturday night in the next few days - and then possibly my thoughts on being gay as a result.

I've never had a girl friend and I've never kissed a girl.

So I'm at my parents place tonight having dinner. It's nice to do that once in a while, especially when you have to wake up at 5am to go to work in the mornings (and it also gives me a bit of time to blog). Anyway, during dinner, I told my mother that I wanted to move closer to work (as opposed to living 1hr away from work). She snapped and said "No, it's too far from your home, now eat your dinner". Oh Chinese parents... 

Now, I might be a homosexual, but there have been many times, when I've been tempted (and curious) to go out with a chick. And today, I figured it out - it comes down to three main reasons:

1.  I don't want to have to lie about non-existent girl friends when my family & friends (that I will not come out to anytime soon) ask.

2. I actually think it'd be fun to go out with a chick, minus the (mandatory?) sex.

3. She'd be really hot and popular so I'd be able to use her as a social vehicle and expand my friendship circle.

Yes, I want a girlfriend, minus the sex. And you know I'd be the perfect boyfriend, minus the homosexuality. I'm smart, cute, athletic, popular, good cook, great kisser, and most of all, an amazing spoon in bed. Awesome in general (except for the "I'm very much in love with cock and ass" part).

But the problem is, I would never be able to bring myself do this, knowing that eventually I'd have to break up and disappoint someone that I loved and a friendship. In fact, I'm scared shitless about breaking up a friendship and I would never lead someone on just so that I could break up a relationship, and that's why I haven't been out with a chick yet. I'd end up feeling like a massive (guilt-ridden) douche.

The reason I've been thinking about this so much, ironically, despite all the above, is because there's this girl at work who works in a different team to me, who's blatantly into me- and I really enjoy her company. We flirt over im (at work) all the time, and we have almost everything in common to discuss about. She's smart, very respectable, cute, popular and drama-free. 

And the problem is, I feel as long as I haven't declared my love (or lust) to her, our friendship will eventually fade away when she finds a more awesome kid to be with. And as selfish as this sounds, although I want her to be happy, I don't want it to happen .

Simply put it, I don't know what I want. At times, I feel like I'm subconsciously trying to conform to societal norms, but is my urge to date a chick a result of this? Or is it a genuine feeling? I can't figure it out. I'm hoping someone feels the same out there.

Back in office

Oh oh hello

The last two weeks have been crazy. Had the best few days of the year so far over there. But I'm not going to write too much because I need to get ready for work in a moment.

I went to the UK over the last two weeks for a holiday. It was full of the usual: banter, beer, hanging in the park, prosecco, good food (yes, good food in the UK), good weather (yes, sunshine) and as a consequence, I lost a digit in my bank account.

I also went to Madrid to visit my bro who's currently on holiday in Europe. And although we decided that Madrid was extremely boring, I still had a great time spending time with him and his wife. No parents, no talk about the parents impending divorce, no domestic issues. Just us three, wine and olives. I hadn't quite had a talk in ages so it was good to get things off my chest and also find out more about his life. I talk like we're complete strangers, and to some degree we are. I rarely see him, or talk to him. The last time I saw him was for my cousin's wedding in three years ago, and he didn't visit for very long so we didn't have much time to talk.

But this was different. And we both knew it was.

A few weeks ago I was with S thinking about coming out to my brother. I was quite determined to do it. But when I saw him face to face, he was such a stranger to me, I couldn't do it. It didn't feel right - and besides, his wife was there which would have added to the awkwardness. Strangers maybe,  the weird thing is, we get each other. I don't know why / what it is.

I don't think he'd react adversely. He's seen enough shit in other people's life to know that being gay isn't the worst thing that could have happened to me (or rather, isn't such a bad thing).

Both of them did try to probe into my life. They both asked me about my non-existent gf's and hot friends that I'm not banging. And like I said to my mother, I gave an answer that I was most comfortable with - I lied to them about it.

But the party don't stop...

So I’ll write a bit about last night (which was amazing) while I wait for my Jersey Shore episode to download (there’s a reason for this, I don’t watch trash TV spontaneously).

I was quite hung over yesterday. I got up for an afternoon run on HK trail 1 and 2. It was pretty fucking fun. Up and down, burning thighs, winding paths, waterfalls, attention, eye candy… haha…any day mate, any day…

Anyway, fast forward, past my buffet dinner with my colleagues (I literally shoved my face in food and beer), we’re at Azure, roof top bar (something like 20 of us) and N swings by with C and G. At this point I had like 100 different people / bars that I wanted to be at, but my phone was out of battery, I’m in shorts, and I’m carrying a camel pack. Really disappointing. But it’s fine, because N was next to me, so he became my phone. He really wanted to get it on with the “Developer Girls” but they fucked off somewhere, and were really boring and incapable of stringing a few words together to make conversation. One did buy me a shot, so she’s cool.

The police raid Azure, I try to stir shit up with N, shouting obscenities like a tool but I get a lemon thrown at me, so we go to Shake Shake. Me, thinking of Kid K, decided to text him where he is, and was in stormies! So I drag the crew out, and go to stormies. C is stoked about seeing Regina – apparently, a clone of this girl in Jersey Shore (which is why I’m downloading it, to see what the commotion is about).

At this point in my life, two weird things happen. 

1. I try to get 4 Jello shots, cool. Then this cute guy, taller than me, comes and grab me on the shoulder and asks me if I wanted to do “the challenege”. I said, I didn’t know what it was. So he proceeds to the bartender to ask for shots and at this point, I didn’t quite realize what he was doing, so with my primal instincts, I shout NO! and he fucks off. I think he groped my ass before he left. IDK. I was drunk out of my mind.

2. C and G asks Tabby if Kid K is gay. Not to big myself up, or anyone, she’s not exactly the most attractive girl an she defo has the hots for Kid K and me. Possibly Lad too.  Anyway, she walked away without answering. C and G are now convinced Kid K is gay and that I have a chance. But they think I can do “better” so what? I don’t understand.  I look at him at this point, and I think to myself: I just want to stroke your beautiful hair. I need to get laid.

What do you do? How do you ask a “straight” guy out without making it awkward?

We go off to Cul-de-Sac and have some Poutine. N and I are going to become fat chicks if we keep this up every Saturday. But fucking delicious.

S and Crisp and Y arrive shortly afterwards, and then head off to the beach. N takes C and G back home, and I’m left with S. and it’s only 4:00AM, but we head back home, satisfied with the night.

(oh and before I get on the taxi, I see the guy who groped my ass at the bar again. I shake his hand and leave while cuddling S)

When it's not OK

So I’m splurged out on beer right now. It’s Wednesday night, and I have to get to work at 730AM tomorrow.

Without making any references:

You know when you’re supposed to follow rules, and you do it, but you know they’re not right. You know that if you break the rules, somehow, it will make more sense. Well I didn’t do that last week. I blindly stuck to the rules and did what was required to do.

What happened? I got in shit. And someone accepted that shit for me. So now, I’m pretty pissed off, horny, and alone.

Not good I tell you.

I need a beard. (not a hairy beard)

Right so during lunch, I was discussing with my mother about my brother's relationship with his wife.  She's apparently quite worried for them because she caught my brother sleeping on the floor once.

So then, she turns 180deg around and asks me if I have a girlfriend.

I shat in my pants.

In the past, when I was asked, I would tell her that wasn't 100% settled anywhere so I hadn't actively look for a girl friend (which I think is a 100% legit excuse).

At some point in my life (recently), I decided to admit the truth to anyone who'd ask if I were gay. and I've kept to it. But I thought again- I couldn't do that to my parents. Sometimes, the truth hurts for a life time. And this is a truth that would do exactly just that.

I said no, which was clearly not the answer she was expecting.  My brother brought girlfriends when he was 22 and spoke of marriage at 25, so same age as me right now, I apparently bear no fruits to match their expectations.

You see my parents are very proud of what they've achieved in life. They raised by really humble parents and grew up to live a modest life, better than all their brothers and sisters. They're really proud of the fact that thy have two intelligent sons, graduated from top tier unis, and have respectable jobs. They rub it in their friends faces. Because they can. And like father like son, like mother like daughter, I'd do the same too. Which is why I know this truth is worth sacrifice.

I proceed with my dumpling, and she proceeds with her mouth. She asks if I have anyone in mind, or if I had a girlfriend before.

Again, Chinese parents like to speculate. My mother always talks of my brother and tells me what she thinks he's up to. So I'm rather sure my mum was thinking I had a girlfriend while I was in London, which was why I was so reluctant to come back to hong kong. Or even worse, she probably thought I had a boyfriend... But let's not go there because I'm scared of that truth too.

With assurance, I tell my mum: "mum, I don't plan to get married and have kids until I'm 35. There's just too much to do out there and I don't want to settle down until I'm sure of where I want to live." She concurs and leaves the subject to rest.

This is exactly why I need a beard very soon.




Seriously, I can't get enough of this:

Kid K

Hey guys

So I just came back from my 10k road run, (I rarely run on roads - i find it too monotonous) there were quite a few runners out there tonight and got eye fucked a few times. Chinese men have no shame in staring. I gotta admit, I was enjoying the attention. It’s not so often I get that much attention every week. Is that what it’s like being a hot chick? I often wonder. Anyway, back to real stuff.

So a few weeks back, I went to Vietnam with a mate from Uni. He brought along with him, two other school friends and they brought a chick too. So this one friend of his, I had a major crush on. He was real hot, short, but really toned. And he knew he was hot, and that confidence was even hotter. He’s not that smart, but no worries, I’m a tool, I can take care of him – if anything ever happens.

So during our trip in Vietnam, we got a long pretty well, relaxing on the boat, looking at limestone islands that resemble jumping fishes, shooting the shit etc.– infact we found out we both had quite a few mutual friends, one of which was my co-worker. I worked my magic, played the cool card, and he invited me to a boat trip back in Hong Kong, which was pretty cool of him (and I took it as a massive hint – probably in the wrong way…).

Fast forward a few weeks, and we’re on the boat. I’m well hung over, armed with only two hours of sleep but determined to have a good time on this boat with American expats. A few of them had tatts which was quite intimidating. When I’m intimidated I literally, hide behind people (i.e. the kid, K) and try to stay inside my comfort zone. I’m not that type who becomes more confident the more intimidating the other person is.

Moving on…So I got to know a few of his friends blah blah, but more importantly, we formed this little social group which I was in. He might turn out to be straight, but I’m liking this anyway. He’s a nice, naïve kid.

Come last Saturday and I’m out there partying like a twat and he messages me to see if I want to hang with him and his mates. N and I say our goodbyes to S and Y (it’s N’s birthday btw) and we see K. Prior to meeting him, I think I had something like, 3 Long Island Ice Teas, 6 Jager shots, 2 cans of beer so I was OK. Then we started properly with his friends (the guys on the boat). First it was a tequila shot, then jello shots then… I forget… haha. That’s where my memory of the night disappeared.

I do remember going into 711 and buying HITE (Korean beer) and trying to chat up these two girls, one of which was called “Hernia”. Terrible name. N thinks she must’ve thought it was the name of a goddess or something. And he’s got a video of me talking to her, which is not cool, because I am probably talking off the top of my twatted brain, unable to string even the most simple words together. Apparently K remembers this, and remembers HITE. N says he piggy backed me down a few flights of stairs. I don’t know how drunk I was, but I did loose 5 cards out of my wallet. On second thoughts, it's probably a good thing that my credit card was lost.

Regardless of that, and regardless of the fact that he’s posts pictures of hot chicks on his facebook, and regardless of the fact that he’s not intelligent, and regardless of the fact that he could play literally, anyone, I’m deeply infatuated by him.

II. Love games and alcohol

And because I hesitate to write this, I feel even more compelled to do so.

So the weeks passed and D and I got increasingly infatuated with each other. All the partying, preppy-ness, drinking, shopping, and him taking around 'secret' London. I got to admit, it was really fun. So was the sex. We were basically seeing each other every weekend, and maybe once or twice during the week and having rabbit sex. Mind you, I lived miles away from central London so it was taking quite a toll on my work. Yeah, puppy love is what they call it.

I was to finish my internship by the end of the december. I didnt know where I was going to end up, what I was going to be doing or how I was even going to get somewhere by the end of December. I did have plans to go back to Australia.

And other than that on my mind, there was D. Preppy, cute, funny, blonde D.

That Christmas I decided give up my ticket to hong kong to stay in London for him. It was a blast...

Theives

Last Wednesday, I was really in the mood to go clubbing. So I went up to S to plan our Saturday night. Come Saturday, and we’re out and bar hopping, going to pretty fly clubs. Between the three of us, there were three birthdays each of us wanted to go to, so plenty of people to see. Met a few pretty cool dudes, would have been nice to been able to talk to them, but never mind that. They were probably straight anyway.

So in the middle of the night, we decide to go to my friend’s birthday at a club. S and I go up for about an hour, dancing like twats, spending money on drinks like there’s no tomorrow etc. Finally, S and I decide to go back to another bar, so she heads to the toilet. She comes back out, take the lift down and she realizes, her phone’s been pick pocketed.

Who the fuck goes into a club to steal iPhones? There was a time when I though people that lived in Hong Kong were honest people. Apparently not. I’m quite disappointed.

I should really go sleep now. I’ll spill a bit more about D next time.

Not interested

A week ago…

I was the type of genuine guy that would go on dates with anyone. I was the type to do so because I never realized what a relationship was all about. I’ve been out on dates with really boring guys, camp guys, not really fit guys etc.. You get my drift. Basically, my bar was fucking low.

So last week, I was on craigslist looking for some action, and I decided to message this guy. No pictures, only a few words. I don’t know why I did it – was probably my penis making me do it. So I meet up with this guy – bucking chap with a city job, intelligent and apparently “straight”. I didn’t buy that. Anyway, he was skinny, sort of like my ex, but taller and blonder. I wasn’t physically attracted to him at all. But he had a really nice personality and we got along pretty well talking about random shit and work. Apparently I was the first guy he kissed, despite him having sucked cock before. I don’t believe it. Anyway, time flew. We had a chat for ages, we might have made out, and then I decided that I needed to jet and see my friends for someone’s birthday.

So a few days later, he texts me. I don’t quote, because my phone is not next to me, but it goes something like this “I really like you, you’re smart, decent, funny and a nice guy. It’s not ever that I dish out compliments like that”. When I read it, I was in the living room with my roommate, and I didn’t know what to make of it. On one hand, I wanted a cuddle buddy. On the other, I felt it would have just ended up like my previous relationship. No, this time, I’m not going fall for anyone until my heart is convinced. I don’t reply.

He texts me the same night saying “You’re not interested?” So I’m not, but I reply with a “LOL, let’s take it easy.”

Was I being too kind? He calls me the next day asking if I wanted to go for dinner. Yeah I did. I wanted to get to know this guy a bit more – he’s a nice guy, and probably a really good friend. But I felt he wanted a relationship, which I was not prepared for. So I stupidly said yes, Friday.

Today…

Come Thursday, he asks if we could have dinner tonight rather than Friday. I’m not the one to say no because I have no plans – and I told him when I saw him (and I secretly wanted the dinner over and done with). I wanted to use the dinner to gauge how much he was into me, to decide how I was going to go about this friendship. That was probably just an excuse though. Secretly my dick was telling me to go too. I’ve been dry for a few months now.

BUT, I decide last minute to blow him off. I’ve never done anything like this to anyone before, not even my friends. I guess I just wasn’t bothered. I have this gut feeling that if I talk to him being a nice guy, he’ll fall for me and I’ll have drama to deal with. I guess I know what I want now. And I'm not interested.

I. So what’s the story behind me?

It’s a long story, that had quite a cute/sweet/cuddly beginning to it. And then it ended in shambles. Regrets on my side. Like on a drunk night out, and you take a piss in a bin while someone films you. Not that the relationship I had was some kind of piss take, but had the choices I made come back to me, I would have definitely made different ones.

I just kills me how I was so naive to believe so many things he said (not to mention a few of my friends, not that I blame them) and then, try to translate to things that I felt like I needed and wanted from a relationship. I had some beautiful times with him. I don’t regret those, even up to the moment I thought I was going to leave him for good. But there have been many times where I thought I was stuck in a relationship, just for the sake of feeling important in someone else’s life. And I tell you, for all that it’s worth, when it’s a one sided thing, there’s too much to be sacrificed. The least I can say is that I’ve had the experience, and you know, if you’ve never been sad, how do you know if you’ve been truly happy, ya know?

Saturday 1^st November 2008

It started when I was working in the Home Counties in the UK. As much as I hate to admit, some random blonde boy messaged me one night off of a dating site. Yes, I’m ashamed of it. But I lived in the Home Counties- where else was I going to get some action?

He was blonde, and tall and around my age, so naturally I agreed to meet up the following afternoon for a pint. He turned out to be a legit guy I thought I could hang out with. We had the same sense of humour, same banter, and above all, we were both in the closet and interested with each other. We both thought at that time it would have been a FWB kind of thing, nothing deep, nothing special. We drank, we got drunk, we had dinner at Covent Garden, and he took me to the train station where we said our goodbyes. As we walked there, we snuck around an alley way, and made out. Properly. We were both hard, in some ex-counsel estate. We were scared, but at the same time, it was exciting and really hot. I remember that night so clearly. It wasn’t until 330am until I caught the train back home. “Nice of him” I thought, “but if anything was going to happen, it would have happened already.”

Now how wrong was I to assume that.

Sunday 2^nd November 2008

No, he called me the next day and asked me to go chill with him. I suggested we go to a burrito bar at Angel – So we went there had our dinner, then headed to a sports bar. Not to watch sports, I hated watching sports (and still do). But to drink cheap booze…

By the end of the night we were literally feeling each other’s hands and legs beneath the table. I think back now and it was so damn cute. We were like raindrops and lived like we sang through the streets we fell on. It was getting late that night, and I told him that I needed to go back home. But I’m a weakling and easily persuaded with another drink. So I stayed and long story short, I somehow floated to his place. I told him nothing was going to happen. I was going to sleep on the couch and I’d get up early in the morning to take the first train back home to get to work. Obviously that did happen. We just made out the whole night, rolling around in bed, trying to relieve ourselves of our blue balls….

Next morning, I pulled a sickie. First time ever, but fuck that, I was completely infatuated with this guy. I wanted to know what he wanted. What I wanted. What everything was going to lead to….

Everything must start somewhere

Right this is driving me insane.

I need someone to cuddle up to right now, I’ve been infinitely horny these past few days, I’ve been spending too much time on porn and thinking about fucking all the hot blonde boys around my office. My nuts are blue – someone please help. I live in Hong Kong. Not much blonde fish out there.

I’m a city boy, but I love spending my days out on the hills, running up and down, exploring and trekking. Best part of Hong Kong is that, ironically, your closest hiking trail into the wilderness is most likely less than 30 mins walk away. People speak of Hong Kong as a concrete jungle, I am guilty of that too. But look deeper and you’ll realize, there’s a lot more than glass sky scrapers and grey apartment blocks- and it’s beautiful.

This is a story about my life (on-going, and past), about all the stupid, genius, spontaneous, ridiculous etc. decisions that I’ve made in my life. If I weren’t gay and had a stronger mind, I think I would have made so many bad decisions. That’s not to say I have it bad in my life. I’ve lived my life on four continents, made really good friends, have my own apartment, a respectable job (not career), and no Asian flush -All that at an age of 23. And I’m not complaining, plenty of chicks dig me- what a perfect facade to hide behind.

Blogging is so 00’s. I know that. But I’m going to write this out anyway. I don’t want other people making the same mistakes I did. It might not have ruined me, but it’s put me in a place where I don’t want to be, where I don’t think I enjoy life as much as I could have. We all might have different ambitions in life, we might have different needs, I’m just hoping one of you kids out there will take something from the series of life stories I have to publish. Like many of the bloggers out there, I want to look back in one year’s time to see how much I’ve changed – myself and others.

For now, I am going to rant. It’s been bothering me since I moved back to Hong Kong for work.

If you’ve ever lived here for a reasonable amount of time, you’ll quickly pick up on the following about the majority of hong kong people:

1. It’s become part of the culture to wedge through life. Wedge between you and the escalators, wedge between lines, wedge through closing doors. You name it. They wedge pretty damn well. To be fair, this only applies to first/second generation hong kong citizens (and the very many Chinese tourists
2. They are obsessed with getting the “best crab”. Yes, that’s a reference to Amy Tan’s Joy Luck Club chapter. If you’ve read it, studied it, analyzed it, you’ll know what I’m talking about. People can literally spend 1 hour, picking through all the pre-packaged vegetables to find the pack with the greenest shoots and least soil. They will rearrange the supermarket alley to find the can with the most distant expiry date. They will do this with no shame.
3. They all have funky names. Funky as in, terribly, agonizingly stupid names. Fishy, Money, Noggard, Hageman, Echo, Purple, Icy. And they will not know the difference between a common name, and a made up name. Take for example, something like “Anson” could be mistaken for “Handsome” easily, and quite seriously. If your name is Apple, then my name is Pear. No fucking kidding.   
4.  Most Chinese people will not have picked a book up, read a decent newspaper about real news, or read a magazine that’s not b-list celebs related. This is why, in my opinion, they are so boring. 
5. They are very gullible. Tell them salt will help prevent radiation poisoning from Japan, and they will go all out on salt. 10kgs of salt was what this lady had. She’ll die from eating 10kg’s of salt in 1 month. Seriously:

I could go on forever. But I shouldn’t. There are a lot of decent Hong Kong people out there. Anyway, stay tuned boys and girls.